Monday, August 22, 2016

Christian Humor




Live Full, Love God and Laugh At Yourself!








Åρ☺ṧ☂◎ℓї¢ Hum☺ur :


"For then it shall be said; our mouths were filled with laughter, and our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "the lord has done great things for them." (Psalm 126:2).

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." Answered the lady.

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Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

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A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. "Lead us not into temptation."

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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and Girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" The teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "

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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

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A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy." The young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"

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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the Pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

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PRAYER:

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk! Amen.



With My Love & Prayers,

Apostle Abraham Israel


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Friday, August 19, 2016

History Makers!



You And God = History Makers!








With GOD all things are possible

☝Abel + GOD ==》able to speak after death
☝Enoch + GOD ==》didn't taste death
☝Noah + GOD ==》became source of new world
☝Abraham + GOD ==》became father of nations
☝Issac + GOD ==》able to reap 100% harvest in famine
☝Jacob + GOD ==》became israel and father of 12 tribes
☝Joseph + GOD ==》became ruler of then mighty nation
☝Moses + GOD ==》brought whole nation of egypt to its knees
☝Joshua + GOD ==》conquered Jerico
☝Gideon + GOD ==》conquered vast amount of army
☝Samuel + GOD ==》the righteous prophet and judge of Israel
☝David + GOD ==》killed giant Goliath
☝Solomon + GOD ==》built mighty temple for GOD
☝JESUS + GOD ==》conquered Satan and saved all mankind

All men who trusted and followed GOD created sensation and history throughout the BIBLE. Never be discouraged that you are alone.

You + GOD ==》history is awaiting to unfold a new page each new day in the chapters of years that God has ahead for you in your life!! Always be a History Maker by being in close partnership and intimacy with God! Have a blessed time ahead with God dear brethren ⭐󾀔⛅☁󾭪!!!!


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